


Journal of Linzi

by Toe



Category: Pathfinder: Kingmaker (Video Game)
Genre: Diary/Journal, Multi, ace lesbian linzi who is lowkey into octavia, many many formats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27876181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toe/pseuds/Toe
Summary: If you're reading this-- which, I'm not sure why you would be, unless you're me, and if you are me, you already know what I'm about to tell you, but maybe in the future, when my stories are known throughout the lands, reading these notes will be a rare and cherished opportunity for writers and aspiring storytellers everywhere, which is exciting to think about, so I think it's still important for me to say that, if you're reading this, you're privy to all my unedited observations of the hero of the Stolen Lands.
Relationships: The Baroness/Octavia/Regongar
Comments: 6
Kudos: 6
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Journal of Linzi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [serenbach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenbach/gifts).



> happy yuletide, serenbach! writing from linzi's perspective was a delight!

Journal of Linzi

If you're reading this-- which, I'm not sure why you would be, unless you're me, and if you are me, you already know what I'm about to tell you, but maybe in the future, when my stories are known throughout the lands, reading these notes will be a rare and cherished opportunity for writers and aspiring storytellers everywhere, which is exciting to think about, so I think it's still important for me to say that, if you're reading this, you're privy to all my unedited observations of the hero of the Stolen Lands.

Every draft of a story has its wrinkles and blemishes, and they need to be ironed out, but every edit is a chance to stray farther into fiction. This journal, though, will always be the truth. Within is the whole tapestry, with each pucker and-- or, no, that would imply this is some sort of finished. This is the cloth from which the tapestry is cut: every moment, great and small, that composes the story, even the extra scraps and ugly parts. 

Ugh, this explanation is a mess. This is a perfect example of why I need this journal in the first place.

\---

25th of Erastus

Friends as Characters

Sorrel-- Her story is self-evident. The journey from a humble shepherd to a fearsome adventurer and beyond is a classic! She's the perfect protagonist and I'm honored to work and fight alongside her.

Amiri-- The striking image of her giant sword as she slices through foe after foe could help sell any story! She wants me to play up her martial prowess. I suspect that I won't have to.

Valerie-- Don't talk about her beauty. She doesn't like it when that's all people focus on, even though she really is beautiful. It's an important part of her journey, too! And I'm not writing this story to make her happy. Talk about her beauty. It's the only way to do her justice. 

Octavia-- Talk about her beauty! She'll be grateful for it. Thank Shelyn.

Ekun-- The tragic past! The air of mystery! I don't need an angle for him. He's perfect.

Tristian-- He's kind, I suppose, though there's not much of a story in that. Well, I'll come back to him later.

\---

8th of Arodus

I've seen Sorrel at the north edge of town a lot lately, staring out at her lands. Sometimes, she'll stay there for hours. I think she's fallen asleep there once or twice, actually, lying with her head on Katter's belly. It looks cozy, at least, being surrounded by all that fluff. Warm, too. I wonder what's on her mind. Is it wistful longing for a life she's left behind? Fondness for the lands that are now hers? Determination to build a better future?

I hope it's the last one. At the very least, she better not be thinking about what's for dinner. That wouldn't be very poetic.

\---

16th of Arodus 

[overheard]

Octavia: Pretty man like you, I bet you get lots of attention.

Tristian: Yes, I suppose that as I am an advisor to the Baroness, my name is well-known throughout the capital.

Octavia: There aren't any other reasons your name might be on people's lips?

Tristan: My accomplishments outside of-- oh. That's

Octavia: There's no need for you to look so panicked, pretty boy! I'm not coming on to you.

Tristian: Oh. I see.

Octavia: Reg might, though.

(I can't hear Regongar's response over the crackling of the campfire-- something about giving sermons in bed)

\---

How genuine are Regongar and Octavia when they flirt?

\- 9/17 - Reg invited Amiri to his tent. Definitely genuine, but he must have known she'd refuse.

\- 9/18 - Reg and Octavia sharing innuendos after battle which I won't repeat here, not even for history. Especially not for history. Playful, but genuine.

\- 9/18 - Reg invited Amiri to his tent once again. I think he's having fun with how she rejects him. Still, he wouldn't turn her down if she changed her mind.

\- 9/20 - Reg invited Sorrel to his tent, some banter followed. He was definitely having fun with how she responded.

\- 9/21 - Octavia complimented Valerie. She did believe what she said, but I'm not completely sure it was flirting. We'll call it genuine, anyway.

\- 9/21 - Octavia's been sharing Sorrel's personal space a lot lately. There haven't been any innuendos exchanged, but there's genuine affection.

\- 9/22 - Reg invited a stranger at a tavern into his bed. No ambiguity there. She kneed him in the groin.

\- 9/23 - Reg told Sorrel she was attractive. No invitations involved, but I still think he meant it.

\- 9/23 - Octavia told Sorrel she was attractive. Maybe Regongar was taking notes from her?

\- 9/24 - Reg indirectly alluded to inviting me into his bed. It's a good thing he chose to tread lightly there. I want to say he doesn't have much interest in me, but given his track record as far as being genuine goes---

This list may have been ill-advised. I need to find a distinction between flirting, joking, and horniness if I really want to check for patterns.

\---

28th of Rova

Friends as Characters, part II

Regongar-- He and Octavia are a story of their own, aren't they? They went through the same struggles but came out the other side very different. I'll let their contrasting natures speak for themselves and approach them in the same way. Except for the beauty thing. Not that Regongar isn't. I don't want to finish this thought.

Nok-Nok-- Is it enough to introduce him as an unexpected ally? I could portray him as a loveable scoundrel if I don't describe the smell.

Harrim-- I like him, and I respect his beliefs, really! Even so, with the way he whimpers about death and doom while Sorrel triumphs over every challenge thrown her way, I might have to cast him as the comedic relief.

Jubilost-- Remember while describing him that he's a great man and you admire him. Shelyn, that can be difficult.

Jaethal-- I think I'll have to come back to this one, too.

\--

~~Every time Octavia got a twinkle in her eye, the entire camp and crew grew brighter.~~

~~Octavia sure knew how to smile~~

Smiles always slipped easily onto Octavia's face, but when she when she was truly seized by joy, it felt different. Her whole vicinity would grow brighter and everyone would walk with a little more of a spring in their step. So it was when Octavia approached the party that day.

"It's been a while since we've been in a large city, hasn't it?" she asked.

"That it has," Sorrel agreed, her eyes already twinkling though she didn't know why. Octavia tossed her a delighted laugh.

"City longshanks smell bad. They no like Nok-Nok." (paraphrased)

"Oh, they're not so bad," Octavia said, beaming at him. "The city's so big; surely there's a-- a dingy tavern or another such place that's to your liking."

Nok-Nok nodded in assent, still grumbling.

"Why do you bring up the city?" Sorrel asked.

"Let's go shopping!" Octavia burst out. "It's been so long since I've bought new jewelry or perfume. Finer things so rarely make their way to the Stolen Lands."

Sorrel nodded. (Was she thinking about how to promote trade in her lands just to make Octavia happy? So sweet. Still needs to be confirmed, though.)

"It would be nice to have a change of pace for a while," Tristian agreed. "I must admit I'm not usually one for shopping for more frivolous things. Not that I think there's no merit in buying the things you enjoy, even if they aren't strictly necessary!"

Octavia giggled. "Well put! I'm always happy to have your company, Tristian."

"Buying shinies? Nok-Nok wants to see," said Nok-Nok, who had recently gotten the party kicked out of a potion shop for breaking an entire shelf of empty bottles.

Sorrel stilled, but Octavia only grew brighter. "Yes, shinies! But don't forget the perfume, too. I hope we find sellers that let us take samples. Should we look for something that smells like lavender, or maybe sweet pea?"

"Samples?" Nok-Nok's ears began to droop.

"Yes, samples! Sometimes a seller will let you try a drop so you have a chance to fall in love. Although I don't think lavender suits you very well. How do you feel about sandalwood, just to try?"

Nok-Nok began muttering to himself. (couldn't catch the exact words, but he wasn't happy)

"Can you tell me more about this sandalwood?" Tristan asked, cutting off Nok-Nok's incomprehensible rant. (Was this an innocent question or had he picked up on Octavia's sly smile?)

"I've found sandalwood perfumes to have a very rich, strong scent. It's a great value, since one application is potent enough to last for many days. Maybe the sample alone will be powerful enough that you won't need the bottle!"

"Yuck! Nok-Nok doesn't want to smell like city longshanks. Nok-Nok will stay behind. Keep your sandalwoods to yourself."

Sorrel lifted a hand to her face and turned away to hide her growing smile. While Octavia was smiling, though, that joy couldn't remain hidden for long.

\--

10th of Neth

Things that make Ekun laugh:

\- 

Things that don't make Ekun laugh:

\- Classic jokes

\- Silly faces

\- Hyperbolic optimism

\- Spontaneous singing or dancing

\- Grinning at him for extended periods of time with no explanation

\- Funny outfits

\- Replacing his arrows with flowers while he sleeps

\- Jokes at Regongar's expense

\- Jokes at Katters' expense

\- Jokes at one's own expense

\- Physical comedy

Things unconfirmed, for now:

\- Tickling

\---

23rd of Neth

There once was a man named Tristian  
At evil, his eyes would get misty-in'  
By Sarenrae's light, he'd beg at the blight,  
Stay away from where the abyss be in?

(Ugh. Why did I pick the person whose name is most difficult to rhyme? Not worth revisiting)

\--

24th of Neth

There once was a man named Harrim  
Who ate with a gusto unsparin'  
The chef she did sigh as she looked in his eye and said,  
'Steaks are to eat, you don't wear 'em!'

(Better, if you'll forgive the slant rhyme. And the fact that I had to drop another G. And the fact that he's not actually the messiest eater in the group while Nok-Nok is around. Sigh.)

\--

25th of Neth

There once was a woman Amiri  
Who'd disregard anyone's theory  
With a swing of a blade, you'll have victory made  
She'd answer as such to each query

\--

26th of Neth

There once was a man named Jubilost  
Who gave me a lecture on limericks. Apparently they're traditionally very dirty! I'll have to rethink how I write them.

\--

28th of Neth

Pardon the switch to Halfling, future scholars! I've learned that it's safer to keep my notes in a language Regongar can't read. 

\--

3rd of Calistril

Sorrel hasn't smiled today. It's not like her. I asked her what was on her mind and she seemed happy while we were chatting, but she started to look glum again right after.

Here's a condensed and somewhat loose recollection of the conversation:

L: Is it okay if I ask about what's been on your mind?

S: Of course you can, my wonderful friend, but I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words.

L: What's been troubling you?

S: My mind keeps returning to my responsibilities. The barony needs me and I will not fail it.

L: Surely there is joy to be found in such a responsibility? Your leadership has made many people happy, after all.

S: There is joy, and there's also sorrow and strain and compromise. The more that piles up, the more inevitable it is that some matters will fall through the cracks.  
No wonder she's been glum when she's taking the pain of her entire barony on her shoulders! There must be something I can do for her, something beyond my duties as an advisor.

\--

"Hey, Tristian, can I get your thoughts on something?" Linzi asked, her quill already poised above her journal and quivering with excitement. "You're so kind all the time, and I was wondering what someone like you would do when you notice that a friend has been sad."

"I'm flattered," Tristian replied. "I suppose it would depend upon the friend and the nature of their sadness. Can you tell me anything more about your situation?"

Linzi tapped the end of her quill against her cheek in thought, creating the ink spot lower on this page. (sorry, journal!) "I don't think I can. It's just that it's kind of personal. Not for me, of course. For my friend."

In a perfect demonstration of his kindness, Tristian smiled gently. His smile was the last easy rock that soothed a baby out of crying, or the steady rush of waves to shore. It carried such endless serenity that just being in its presence made Linzi a little more calm, a little more hopeful.

"In that case, I'm not sure how helpful my advice will be, but if you want to relieve a friend's sorrows, the best place to start is to listen to them, and to let them know they're not alone."

Linzi considered her recent conversations with Sorrel. "And when that doesn't seem to help? What should I do then?"

"I'm sure it has helped more than you know." Seeing the displeased look on his friend's face, he hurried to add, "But if you are looking to do something more, perhaps you could offer a thoughtful gift, or take on some of their burden yourself, if you can."

"A thoughtful gift... I'll keep that in mind. Thank you." ⋇

"Now, might I ask-- do I know this friend of yours?" Tristian adjusted his bearing, his gaze on her intense.

Linzi adjusted her grip on her journal. "It's possible. This isn't so large a city, after all," she offered.

"I see. If you would like any help in cheering her up, know that I am around."

\--

18th of Gozran

Things that make Ekun laugh:

-Tickling, but I don't recommend trying.

\--

4th of Desnus

O: It's not such a strange concept. She knows who we are. She likes who we are!

R: (grumbling)

O: She's not most people, Reg.

R: I know. And that's what makes this so damn hard.

O: I could talk to her, if you'd like.

R: What I'd *like* is-- (growl) 

R: I'm not suited for this job. Doesn't mean it's not mine.

\--

As of this momentous day, the fifth of Desnus, Sorrel, Octaivia, and Regongar are officially an item! Good work, Regongar. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that it's about time.

\--

L: Sorrel, you have that faraway look in your eyes again. Is everything okay?

S: Sorry! It's nothing, really. You don't have to worry about me.

L: You could have a few drinks if you want. Like everyone else. You're allowed to have fun at your own birthday celebration!

S: It doesn't always feel like it.

(Beat. Half a dozen voices rise in a drinking song across the room.)

L: Do you miss being a shepherd?

H: Sorrel! A happy birthday to you! Each year passing is a year closer to your inevitable doom.

S: Thank you, Harrim.

H: Yes, sooner or later, we will all meet our end. Death is a constant for every person.

(A woman behind Harrim bursts into tears)

Woman: (slurred and said between sobs) Sorry. Gods, I'm so sorry. I'm just going through a lot right now.

S: Yes, thank you, Harrim. Why don't you have another drink?

H: Alright, I suppose.

S: So, Linzi, your question--

(Amiri leaps onto a chair and shouts)

A: What did you say? I'm the strongest in room, and I can prove it! I dare anyone who thinks otherwise to an arm wrestle match!

Man: You can't arm wrestle from up there!

S: Oh dear.

R: Sorrel! My sweet-- sweetie-- honey cheeks! Sorrel!

S: Hello, Regongar.

R: Love you. Happy birthday.

S: (laughs) How much have you had to drink?

R: Not! Enough! Hey, barkeep!

(Regongar disappears into the crowd)

O: I love you!

(Octavia giggles, kisses Sorrel, giggles more, then follows Regongar)

L: They're having so much fun.

S: So, that question you asked earlier: things were simpler and more peaceful back then, and I miss that, but I would never go back to that life.

S: Although, I guess in some ways I'm still a shepherd, just keeping a different sort of flock in line.

\--

"Writing is a noble calling," Jubilost said unprompted. He watched Linzi with a curiosity free of all expectation.

"Oh, thank you!" Linzi ran a hand over her dear journal. Compliments from Jubilost were rare. She'd cherish it. "It really is a calling, isn't it? I couldn't think of doing anything else."

"I'm glad you agree! So many of our kind are moved by their muses, or inspired by the truth, but be it fact or fantasy, the allure is inescapable. You know, for a number of years, I believed everyone felt the same, that the difference between those who are writers and those who aren't was more a matter of motivation and circumstance. How bizarre that there are people who will never know this sort of need.

"I'm reminded of the tales I heard while I was traveling along the coast of Varisia. The sailors there said that the most important part of their work was being at sea. They placed strangely little importance on the purpose of their vessel, and their thoughts on who they worked alongside were-- well, they treated it with the care and diligence that you or I might take in choosing our breakfast. They felt that there was something inside them that would never be satisfied unless they were on the ocean. It seemed utterly foreign to me at the time that something so simple as water could have such a hold over them, but water or words, it's all the same, isn't it? We can never stop."

Readers of the future, you probably already know this, since you're from the future, after all, but I won't ever stop. There will always be stories to tell, and as long as there are, I will always tell them.

**Author's Note:**

> linzi: all members of the party are important!!!!!  
> valerie is ~~BEAUTIFUL~~ DEPENDABLE  
> octavia is BEAUTIFUL  
> harrim is GROUNDED  
> regongar is FIERCE  
> ekun is FOCUSED  
> tristian  
> jubilost is WISE


End file.
